Dating on the Net
How to find your Dream Date: -
Internet personals are gaining in popularity because they have some real advantages
over traditional methods of meeting people.
You may see someone you'd like to get to know in a public place like a bar.
The problem is how do you go about it? Chances are that he/she is interested
in meeting new people too, but most of us don't have the self-confidence it
takes to just walk up and start a conversation. Even if we do, what do we talk
I'm pretty sure that if I walked up to someone and said "Hi, my name is
Gary, and I like to lay around in my underwear watching TV, what are your interests?"
her response would be short, and not all that sweet. So the problem is getting
past the initial stage of finding common interests. ( I don't lay around in
my underwear watching TV by the way :)
With online personals all that is taken care of ahead of time - you have stated
your interests in your ad, and you respond to ads from people that have something
in common with you. You get a chance to get to know someone before you actually
meet face to face. The disadvantage of all this is that until you actually meet
the person face to face you don't really know how well you will get along, or
if the chemistry that's needed for romance is there. Hopefully you will have
talked on the phone before hand to give you a bit more of an idea.
Approach each meeting with a wait and see what happens attitude. The personals
are a lot less expensive than matchmaking services, plus you do the screening
instead of leaving it up to some stranger. This means more work on your part,
but it can be a lot of fun too. They work better than placing an ad in your
local paper because they cover a wider area. You can include your picture, and
place a voice ad, usually for free. They are fast, and easy to respond to. You
don't have to write, and mail a letter, you simply reply to the personal ads
from your computer.
You're probably wondering how much success I've had with the personals. So far
all that's happened is I've made a bunch of new friends. I haven't met anyone
special with them. Then again I haven't met anyone special with traditional
The personals are one more tool you have for meeting new people. Experiment
with them, and have fun.
Creating a profile: -
When you sit down to write your own personal ad, keep one thing in mind. It's
an ad, so you want to treat it as one. Your heading is possibly the most important
part of your ad. Without a good heading the rest of your ad will probably go
unread. It seems everyone likes long walks on the beach, cuddling in front of
the fire, is easy going, and has a sense of humor. That may describe you, but
it describes a lot of people. You need to stand out from the crowd. You have
only a few words to attract the type of person you want to read your ad, try
to make them as compelling as possible. Spend a few days just writing down headings
that you think apply to you. Read them over, and try the one you like best.
Keep the others, so that you can use them later when you change your ad. The
body of your ad is your chance to convey more information about yourself, and
to state who you would like to hear from. Try to keep it interesting, and easy
to read. One paragraph stating that you are a real nice guy/gal with good looks
isn't likely to get any responses.
You need to show your personality in your writing. This is not an easy task.
You have nothing but the written word to convey what you are like. In a face
to face interaction, there are gestures, facial expressions, and the give and
take of normal conversation. On the positive side, you avoid the awkwardness
of trying to start, and keep a conversation going with someone you don't even
know. Write the body of your text, read it over, revise it, sleep on it, then
revise it again.
Be honest in your ad. Tell what you are like, and don't try to make false impressions.
False impressions will back fire in the personals as much as they will in the
rest of your life. Relax, and let your true self show through. There are people
who will like who you are. Truth in advertising is a good phrase to keep in
mind when writing your ad. Its good idea to state the general type of person
you are hoping to meet, but don't overdo it. If you set down too many requirements
you will miss out on the opportunity to meet some great people, and quite possibly
the one that is just right for you. Finish your ad with a call for action.
Let the person know that you want to hear from him/her. I know that sounds silly,
after all why would you place an ad if you didn't want to get any responses?
The point is that some people wouldn't answer you out of fear of rejection.
Eliminate that fear, and you will get more responses. I can't stress this enough...if
the personal ad service you choose uses photos, include one.
Maybe you think you aren't very good looking, and that you are better off letting
someone get to know you first. Believe me, it doesn't matter what you look like,
there will be someone that likes your looks. No two people have the same tastes.
A good example is a friend of mine, and I have totally different tastes in women.
He might think someone is great looking, and I wouldn't, and then I might find
someone attractive, and he can't see why.
Include a picture, it can say a lot about you, and will increase the number
of response you get. Find a recent picture of yourself, get it scanned, write
your ad, and place it. Let it run for a couple of weeks to a month. While its
running, start writing a new one. Even if the first one you write is working,
you will eventually need to replace it.
Keep trying, relax, and let things happen.
Responding a Messages: -
You've been browsing through the personals, and found a personal ad, or better
yet a couple of ads you really like. Now what? You can't just send a response
that say's "I liked your ad, please write back to me". You need to
get the interest of the person that wrote the ad interested in getting to know
you better. First make a list of the things you liked about the ad. What are
your common interests? What was said that really interested you? If you can't
find anything more than the picture, forget it, you probably don't have anything
in common anyway. Then make a list of the things about yourself that you think
the other person might like.
Now you need to sit down, and pre-write your response. State why you liked
his/her ad. Tell her/him about yourself, what your interests are, and why you
think the two of you might hit it off. Offer to send your picture. Take a little
time with this, it might mean the beginning of a good relationship. If your
response doesn't convey the right message, you may not hear back from him/her.
Remember that you probably aren't the only one that liked her/his ad. Your response
may be one of many. Make what you have to say stand out.
Give him/her something to write back about. Ask questions, offer to answer
questions. This is your chance to get to know more about each other. If you
don't get a reply, you might want to revise your response and try again. It
may be that your first response didn't even make it to the pers